[TMJ: FS2S—Pt. I, Ch. 5] Not Just Any Body: The Heart of Masculinity
- Michael Villanueva
- Jul 30
- 17 min read
Updated: Aug 5
One Saturday Mourning
Bursting through the door in tears, our retreat leader ascended the stage, grabbed the microphone, and delivered the news: "Our beloved Pope John Paul II has passed."
Her grief felt foreign to me, even extreme. I was in eighth grade, completely uninspired by my Catholic faith, and simply going through the motions of the Confirmation retreat I was attending.
Isn't this kind of excessive for someone she wasn't related to? Sure, I knew about Pope John Paul II and was saddened by his death, but it took me a few more years before I even began to realize that the man she was mourning wasn't just anybody.
The Man, The Saint, The Legend
Two chapters ago, I introduced John Eldredge as one of our two main guides for the masculine journey on which we've embarked. In Part II of this series, we will re-view the life stages he sets forth (Son, Cowboy, Warrior, Lover, King, and Sage) in his book, The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey, with "Catholic sacramental lenses." On that note, I am eager to introduce here our other main guide and inspiration for this blog series: Pope Saint John Paul II (JPII).
Arguably one of the greatest figures of the 20th century — possibly even history¹ — JPII led the Catholic Church as Pope from 1978 to 2005. He traveled around the globe, inspiring men, women, and children (believers and non-believers alike) and remains a model of masculinity well-lived. Born Karol Józef Wojtyła (voy-tee-wah) in Wadowice, Poland on May 18th, 1920, his early life was situated within the volatile years between the two World Wars. At that time, Poland sat precariously between two rising aggressors, with the makings of Nazi Germany brewing to the west and the emerging Soviet Union forging in the east.
In addition to growing up in this geopolitical crosshairs, the future pope and saint experienced great personal tragedy at a young age — over and over again. Left without any immediate family by the age of twenty, Karol lost his older sister, Olga, before he even met her (she died hours after birth four years before he came along). He then mourned the passing of his mother and older brother, Emilia and Edmund, at the tender ages nine and twelve, respectively. Years later, now a young man enduring the Nazi occupation of Poland, Karol returned home one day from working in the local quarry to find his father, Karol Sr., dead of a heart attack.
Clearly, JPII is no stranger to the profound suffering, uncertainty, and conflict typical of the modern world. However, the weight of history and sting of tragedy would not get the best of him. Rather, it brought out the best in him. Certainly, this should be attributed to his fervent faith, formed especially by the example of his father and devotion to the Blessed Mother, Mary, to whom he intentionally clung following his mother's passing. Tried by fire, JPII's faith gave him the grace, direction, and strength to place his natural gifts — especially his very masculinity — at the service of God, the Church, and all of humanity.
Shocking friends and mentors who thought he would become a great and influential actor, Karol entered the seminary for the ancient Archdiocese of Krakow during World War II, doing so secretly to evade the ruthless Nazi oppressors. After his priestly ordination and return from further studies in Rome, Fr. Wojtyła spent less than a year at a Polish country parish before being transferred back to the city of Krakow to minister as chaplain to college students now living under Soviet-control. He has become especially known for accompanying those students on hiking and kayaking trips to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors, to talk about life, and to preach the Gospel covertly in a time when Church youth groups were banned by the government. Genuinely encountering and serving these young men and women — even as they continued to mature, marry, have families, and enter professional life — Fr. Wojtyła developed a unique and piercing perspective regarding human relationships, action, and existence.
A noteworthy playwright and poet, JPII was also an impressive scholar. As a professor of ethics at the Catholic University of Lublin, Fr. Wojtyła battled the intellectual errors of Western modernity and Soviet communism with both sound and trailblazing philosophy. Shaped intimately by his pastoral experience, Fr. Wojtyła took special interest in sexual ethics, leading to his first book, Love and Responsibility. This work was a revolutionary attempt to faithfully re-present the Church's teaching on love and sexuality in light of true personal freedom, responsibility, and fulfillment rather than cold, moral rigorism.
In God's mysterious providence, Fr. Wojtyła eventually ascended the ecclesial ranks, becoming the Archbishop and then Cardinal of Krakow. As his pastoral sensibilities and philosophical prowess matured, Cardinal Wojtyła continually baffled communist rulers through his faithful and shrewd leadership. He was steadily stepping onto the global stage when finally, on October 16, 1978, he was elected as pope, taking the name that now resounds throughout eternity: John Paul II.²
Flipping the (manu-) Script
As the story goes, during the August conclave of 1978 that ultimately elected Pope John Paul I, Cardinal Wojtyła brought along a special project to work on as time allowed. This special project was a book conceived out of pastoral concern, philosophical and theological intrigue, and historical necessity — especially in the wake of the sexual revolution and the 1960 introduction of the birth control pill. Of special concern was the "widespread confusion in the Church after Humanae Vitae," Pope Paul VI's 1968 encyclical that shocked the world with its reaffirmation of the Church's consistent teaching that rejected contraception. As George Weigel puts it, "Something had to be done to explain the Church's sexual ethic in a more persuasive way."³
Just 33 days into his papacy, Pope John Paul I died suddenly of a heart attack, and Cardinal Wojtyła found himself traveling back to Rome for yet another conclave. His special book project was nearing completion, with the manuscript in its final preparations.⁴ However, it was never to be published under his birth name, since it was at this second conclave of 1978 that the young Polish Cardinal was chosen as the 264th pope and the first non-Italian in nearly four centuries.
Less than a year went by before the new leader of the Catholic Church intentionally utilized his regular Wednesday Audiences to conduct an epic series of short teachings on the origin, history, mystery, and destiny of the human person, created in the image and likeness of God as male or female.⁵ Over the span of five years from 1979-1984, with periodic interruptions, JPII delivered 129 reflections during those audiences, proposing "one of the boldest reconfigurations of Catholic theology in centuries."⁶ Ever faithful to God's promptings and responding as a spiritual father to the needs of his flock, JPII effectively flipped his pre-papal manuscript into an official papal teaching for the universal church⁷ — a Theology of the Body (TOB), as he himself called it.⁸
Not Just Any Body
It is beyond the scope of this blog series to offer a comprehensive study of JPII’s argument in TOB and its effectiveness. Nevertheless, it has indeed been pronounced by Michael Waldstein as “John Paul II’s masterwork,”⁹ and iconically described by Weigel as a “kind of theological time bomb set to go off with dramatic consequences sometime in the third millennium…. perhaps in the 21st century.”¹⁰ Both scholarly and pastoral in nature, TOB is a gift that has ignited hearts and transformed lives, including that of yours truly. Spreading its message and finding creative and effective ways to communicate this incredibly rich and complex teaching for present and future generations is a worthwhile cause to which many have dedicated their lives and resources.
At the heart of TOB is the ancient yet surprising revelation — especially for postmodern minds — that you and I are not just anybody. Rather, referring specifically to the human body, created male or female, JPII proclaims:
The body, in fact, and only the body, is capable of making visible the invisible: the spiritual and the divine. It has been created to transfer into the visible reality of the world the mystery hidden from eternity in God, and thus to be a sign of it.
—TOB 19:4
Evidenced by its thesis statement above,¹¹ TOB is the Catholic Church’s compelling response to the burning questions of the human heart:
Who am I?
Do I matter?
What is my purpose?
Does anyone really care?
What does it mean to be human — created male or female?
Why is there evil in the world and can it be overcome?
What does love look like and does it last?
What role does my male or female body play in all of this?
What does sex have to do with my ultimate fulfillment?
Natural in their own right, these questions are all the more critical (and confusing) today given the disembodied, agnostic, skeptical, and apathetic worldview characteristic of our age. When they are addressed and seen through the Catholic sacramental lenses of TOB, we are able to behold all of creation and most importantly, ourselves (especially our male or female bodies), as sacraments: living indicators and icons of divine realities and mysteries. More on all of this in the final chapter of Part I.
Ultimately, JPII’s TOB is the other major inspiration behind this series, along with my personal journey of growth and healing as a man. To equip ourselves to review Eldredge’s stages of the masculine journey through TOB lenses, let us first take stock of what TOB has to say specifically about a man’s nature — especially his relationships, identity, and mission.
Guardians of the Gift
What does it mean to be a man? In short: Gift and Guardian. Recalling a crucial excerpt from Vatican II's Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, Gaudium et Spes (The Joys and the Hopes), JPII first highlights our essential giftedness. Using "man" in its universal form, applying to both men and women:
...the most recent Council... declares that man is the only creature in the visible world that God willed 'for its own sake,' adding that this man cannot 'fully find himself except through the sincere gift of self.'
—TOB 15:1 (quoting Gaudium et Spes 24:3)
Thus, both men and women are unique and unrepeatable GIFTS, created not for mere functionality or usefulness but for personal and eternal love. This truth is made visible by our very bodies. In fact:
The human body, with its sex — its masculinity and femininity — seen in the very mystery of creation, is not only a source of fruitfulness and of procreation, as in the whole natural order, but contains 'from the beginning' the 'spousal' attribute, that is, the power to express love: precisely that love in which the human person becomes a gift and — through this gift — fulfills the very meaning of his being and existence.
—TOB 15:1
In a society that places men and women in boxes based on impersonal stereotypes, pits men and women against each other in competition, or passes off masculinity and femininity as mere social constructions, the truly Catholic proposal is that to be a man or a woman means to have a male or female BODY which bears unimaginable meaning and power! Created first as gifts, men and women are then meant to make a gift of themselves to God, others, nature (all of creation), and even oneself¹² for the sake of personal and eternal union and communion. On this, JPII writes:
...the exchange of the gift, in which their whole humanity, soul and body, femininity and masculinity, participates, is realized by preserving the inner characteristic... of self-donation and of the acceptance of the other as a gift. These two functions of the mutual exchange are deeply connected in the whole process of the "gift of self": giving and accepting the gift interpenetrate in such a way that the very act of giving becomes acceptance, and acceptance transforms itself into giving.
—TOB 17:4
While both men and women are gifts from God, it's essential to note that they are simultaneously different. Equal in dignity, yet distinct in identity, "masculinity and femininity... are, as it were, two different 'incarnations,' that is, two ways in which the same human being, created 'in the image of God' (Gen 1:27), 'is a body'" (TOB 8:1).
Reflecting on the graced encounter between the first man and woman, Adam and Eve — still uninfected by the venom of original sin — JPII describes "the woman, who in the mystery of creation 'is given' by the Creator to man [and] is 'welcomed' or accepted by him as a gift." As "mother of the living" (cf. Gn 3:20), Eve's distinct gift is revealed by her uniquely female body which (as we can see when gazing reverently upon it, especially upon those parts of the body that reveal it to be female):
opens to unite with her beloved, the man, (Receptivity)
and conceives new life within her womb, (Interconnectivity)
so that new life may be born of her body, from their union, for their good and the good of all. (Generosity)
From this vantage point, we can behold the mystery of the woman both as Gift and Garden: a sacred and fertile sanctuary offering the solace, belonging, and nourishment that empowers those entrusted to her care to truly flourish.
JPII then turns to the woman's counterpart, "the man... [who] above all receives the gift. [He], by contrast, must in some way ensure the very process of the exchange of the gift, the reciprocal interpenetration of giving and receiving the gift, which, precisely through its reciprocity, creates an authentic communion of persons (TOB 17:6)." Even when the man fails his post, as Adam did in the face of the deceptive dragon,¹³ and "Although maintaining the balance of the gift seems to be something entrusted to both, the man has a special responsibility, as if it depended more on him whether the balance is kept or violated or even — if it has already been violated — reestablished" (TOB 33:2, underlined emphasis is mine).
Similar to Eve, Adam's gift — and his uniquely masculine mission — is revealed through his male body which (as we can see when gazing reverently upon it, especially upon those parts of the body that reveal it to be male):
extends to unite with his beloved, the woman, (Initiation)
and plants his seed within her womb, (Oblation)
so that new life may be born of his substance, from their union, for their good and the good of all. (Generation)
Brothers, let us keep our eyes fixed with attention and reverence. Following sexual union with his wife and the interpersonal communion that follows, the husband's body naturally withdraws. This most sacred retreat is not for the sake of leaving, but loving — not meant for parting, but providing — not for abandoning, but for anchoring — not for going, but for guarding. This is both a free choice and a call from the depths to which the man must respond wholeheartedly. God's command to Adam to "cultivate and care for" the garden (cf. Gn 2:15) resounds within and echoes throughout the man's own body: from the biological to the theological.¹⁴
From this vantage point, we can behold the mystery of the man both as Gift and Guardian: a potent and passionate protector of the treasures entrusted to his stewardship, authority, and provision.
This is what it means to be a man, always and everywhere in relation to and at the service of the woman, the child, and others. By your masculine body, you are created, challenged, commissioned, and called to be Guardians of the Gift — the gift of your own masculinity and that of our brothers as well as the gift of femininity possessed by each of our sisters.
Embracing Your Dad Bod
What's another word for guardian? Father! Fatherhood is the true fill-full-ment, or completion, of the masculine heart (and body).
Contrary to the modern mindset that motherhood and fatherhood are either personal preference or — in complex, technical terms — freedom suckers, TOB reveals motherhood and fatherhood to be the true fill-full-ment (recall what we explored in Pt. I, Ch. 3 about nature) of femininity and masculinity, respectively. As we said above, both the male body and female body bear unimaginable meaning and power, and with respect to the various ways in which men and women can legitimately and creatively exercise that power in the world, nothing is more naturally powerful than the capability of men and women to become spouses and parents who "cooperate in a unique way in the Creator's work" by "transmitting human life to their descendants...."¹⁵
Crowning the act of creation, God blesses the man and the woman, inviting them to "be fertile and multiply" (Gn 1:28). In response, Adam "knew" his wife, Eve, and she conceived a child (see Gn 4:1). Reflecting on that potent "knowledge," used biblically to describe the profound gift of sexual intercourse, JPII observes:
...the mystery of femininity manifests and reveals itself in its full depth through motherhood.... The woman stands before the man as mother, subject of the new human life that is conceived and develops in her and is born from her into the world. In this way, what also reveals itself is the mystery of the man's masculinity, that is, the generative and "paternal" meaning of his body.
—TOB 21:2
Truly, sex is not just sex. Rather, it is the personal and powerful act by which a man realizes his natural fill-full-ment as a husband and father and a woman realizes her natural fill-full-ment as a wife and mother. Belonging exclusively to the lifelong, unbreakable, and sacred covenant of marriage, sex is an act of great dignity, fruitfulness, and a true path to sainthood!¹⁶
From this vantage point, we can behold the mystery of the child as both Gift and Glory: a tangible and eternal manifestation of the personal, embodied, and fruitful love between man and woman — husband and wife, mother and father, Guardian and Garden — yet all the while entirely unique and unrepeatable, ever more than the sum of its parts.
It is necessary here to compassionately address those couples who struggle with the sorrow of infertility or mourn the tragedy of lost fatherhood and/or motherhood in any way. Married, sexual love is truly fruitful in more ways than the conception, bearing, and raising of children. Marriage in itself is not just a piece of paper or a social construct, but a new reality with the power to change the world and transform hearts, especially each other's.¹⁷ Moreover, this excruciating form of suffering united with Christ's suffering on the Cross, becomes a true, powerful, and eternal participation in Jesus' redemption of the whole world.¹⁸
At the same time, we must hold onto the truth that the child is the crowning fruit of both marriage and sex, the sacred and embodied union and communion between man and woman. Even in sinful situations where sex is entered into before or outside of marriage, or where a child is aborted, your capacity and responsibility to love as well as the incomparable dignity of the child remains. To speak to the contrary, even with kind intentions, actually disrespects and disregards your real and immense pain, sorrow, uncertainty, and longing. You are loved by God, and with His grace, your enduring love will bear fruit now and forevermore.
In his 1994 Letter to Families, JPII points to the distinct gift of the child:
When they transmit life to the child, a new human "thou" becomes a part of the horizon of the "we" of the spouses, a person whom they will call by a new name.... The process from conception and growth in the mother's womb to birth makes it possible to create a space within which the new creature can be revealed as a "gift": indeed this is what it is from the very beginning. Could this frail and helpless being, totally dependent upon its parents and completely entrusted to them, be seen in any other way? The newborn child gives itself to its parents by the very fact of its coming into existence. Its existence is already a gift, the first gift of the Creator to the creature.
But is it really true that the new human being is a gift for his parents? A gift for society? ... The child becomes a gift to its brothers, sisters, parents and entire family. Its life becomes a gift for the very people who were givers of life and who cannot help but feel its presence, its sharing in their life and its contribution to their common good and to that of the community of the family. This truth is obvious in its simplicity and profundity, whatever the complexity and even the possible pathology of the psychological make-up of certain persons. ... [Humanity] is first of all the "glory of God": "Gloria Dei vivens homo", in the celebrated words of Saint Irenaeus, which might also be translated: "the glory of God is for man to be alive".
—Letter to Families, 11
While newborns are literally (and legally!) discarded as garbage, JPII reminds us of the glory that is every child in every stage. A model guardian himself, the Holy Father shows each of us how to guard both garden and glory — both woman and child, and therefore all of society — through our words and deeds. The task of the of the Father-Guardian, then, is:
to remember the glorious truth of both garden and glory when forgotten (the Hebrew word for "male" ("zakar") also means, when in verb form, "to remember"),
to reestablish the truth of both garden and glory when violated,
and to help realize the truth of both garden and glory when-ever.
So men, fellow guardians, in a society which yearns for your virtuous masculinity and fatherhood, yet lashes out in resentment and cynicism at the thought of both, embrace your dad-bod! Perhaps in better words — those of our saintly guide, JPII: "Become who you are!"¹⁹ Whether it is through martyrdom, marriage, the priesthood, or consecrated religious life, your masculinity — a gift ever at the service of others — awaits its fill-full-ment in fatherhood, both physical and spiritual!²⁰
Questions for Reflection and Prayer
Until this point, have you viewed your male body as a gift? Do you really believe that your male body has a spousal meaning, "that is, the power to express love: precisely that love in which the human person becomes a gift and — through this gift — fulfills the very meaning of his being and existence."? Are there any obstacles preventing you from seeing yourself and your body in this light?
You, brother, by your very body (especially by the parts of your body that reveal it to be male), are meant to be a Guardian of the Gift — of the Gardens and Glories in your family and community. What thoughts, feelings, and desires arise when you hear this?
"Fatherhood is the true fill-full-ment, or completion, of the masculine heart (and body)." Do you agree? Why or why not?
Footnotes:
(click footnotes below to return to your place in the post above)
Just read George Weigel's Witness to Hope: The Biography of Pope John Paul II, 20th Anniversary Edition (New York: Harper Perennial, 2020).
Michael Waldstein, "Introduction" to Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology of the Body (Boston: Pauline Books & Media, 2006), p. 7, footnote 16.
Christopher West calls this excerpt from TOB 19:4 John Paul II's thesis statement, "the brush with which he paints his entire catechesis on the body." (https://tobinstitute.org/top-three-favorite-quotes-from-saint-john-paul-iis-theology-of-the-body/)
Katrina Zeno provides a helpful acronym for the four ruptures resulting from original sin, which thus point to the four original harmonies, or communions that each of us were given from the beginning. This acronym is GO NY! (God, Others, Nature, and within Yourself (between body and spirit). See her book, The Body Reveals God (Tempe, AZ: Women of the Third Millennium, 2008), p. 41.
The Hebrew word used in Genesis 3 for the serpent "nāḥāš" (nachash) more accurately carries the connotation of a monstrous, dragon-like creature than a garden snake.
Just to name a few examples researched quickly through careful google searches (by careful, I mean for the sake of purity of heart as well as scientific support) — Biochemical: during sex, hormones and neurotransmitters are released that build trust and deep emotional closeness between partners, create pleasure and desire, lower stress bringing physical calm and relaxation, and deepens feelings of peace and satisfaction. Muscular & Skeletal: Bone density is typically higher and size typically larger in men, meaning men can generally withstand greater blunt force trauma before experiencing a fracture. Additionally, men typically possess greater total muscle mass and higher upper body strength potential. Psychological: The Buffer Effect (Low partner support is one of the strongest statistical predictors of maternal postpartum depression and anxiety. Conversely, active emotional support from a partner drastically lowers this risk. Findings from the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology indicate that partnered mothers with strong support structures have up to a 71% lower risk of developing severe PPD.). Financial, Economic, and Social: Economic Security (From a structural perspective, the physical demands of late-stage pregnancy, childbirth recovery, and breastfeeding often force women to take a temporary or permanent leave from the workforce. Financial contribution and legal advocacy from a partner ensure household security and direct access to quality healthcare facilities.), Safer Birth (Public health data tracking maternal health shows that active male engagement in prenatal care and postnatal education correlates with significantly fewer birth complications, healthier birth weights, and overall safer delivery outcomes for both the mother and the infant.)
For a beautiful, scholarly, and comprehensive treatment on sex according to a Catholic Christian theology, see Donald P. Asci's The Conjugal Act as a Personal Act: A Study of the Catholic Concept of the Conjugal Act in the Light of Christian Anthropology (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 2002). Refer especially to pp. 292-298, "The Conjugal Act as a Sacramental Act."
In his Apostolic Exhortation Familliaris Consortio: On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World (Vatican, 1981), paragraph 17, JPII says, "Family, become what you are." This became a common saying of his (and others attributing the saying to him) to couples and individuals alike, at times being adjusted to "Become who you are."
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